Duties of the Wedding Attendants

Story by Lyda Kay Ferree, The Southern Lifestyles Lady.
Photography courtesy of Woody & Pearl Photography.

The Bride’s Attendants

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Being a bride’s attendant in a wedding is one of the most special things that may happen in your life. Not only are you going to wear a formal gown and attend a party, but you play a vital role in the new life of the bride. You are the past which is linking to her future. In most cases the bridesmaids have known the bride much longer than the groom has known her. You have shared special moments from slumber parties and hour-plus phone conversations to proms and leaving home for the first time. You may have also been the cupid in the relationship of the bride and groom. After sharing all of these special times and memories, how could you not continue to be the pillar of support on her most special day? You are part of who the bride is and your presence is a valuable part of her happiness. Be the most helpful you can be as this is the time when she will need you the most.

Download printable Wedding Attendants' Checklist here!

Download printable Wedding Attendants' Checklist here!

Weddings sometimes stress a friendship as emotions may be at an all-time high. Men cannot take the place of girlfriends! By being helpful and supportive of the wedding you will be creating future memories with your friend. An attendant position is an honor and a privilege. The bride could have asked anyone, but she chose you! Take advantage of this honor and make this time a pleasurable time for both of you.

THE MAID/MATRON OF HONOR

Pre-Wedding Day

  • Choose bridesmaid dresses.
  • Assist in addressing wedding invitations.
  • Help plan the bachelorette party, bridal showers, bridal luncheon and bridal breakfast (optional).
  • Record wedding gifts at showers and pre-wedding parties.
  • Keep the bride sane and happy through this time.
  • Run errands for the bride.
  • Coordinate appointments for bridesmaids’ dress fittings.
  • Keep in contact with all of the bridesmaids concerning schedules and activities.
  • Attend all pre-wedding activities with the bride.
  • Help introduce and mingle with guests at all functions.
  • Attend bride’s fitting appointments and learn how to perfectly bustle her train.

WEDDING DAY

  • Check all bridesmaids to ensure they all look uniform and are on schedule.
  • Delegate someone to move all bridesmaids’ belongings from the church to the reception (usually personal attendant or special assistant to the bride).
  • Give a speech to the bride and groom at the reception.
  • Help with any last minute problems that may occur on the wedding day to spare the bride.
  • Arrange bride’s veil and train at the wedding ceremony and reception.
  • Be responsible for the bride’s bouquet during the ceremony.
  • Sign the marriage certificate with the best man (must be at least 18 years of age). Note: This may vary from state to state.
  • Accompany the best man in the bridal dance, photographs etc.
  • Pack the bride’s gown, veil and accessories and take to the cleaners or the bride’s mother.
  • Help clean the reception hall (if needed).
  • Help transport gifts after the reception.

POST-WEDDING DAY

  • Help return any items like rental pieces, tuxedos etc.
  • Attend gift opening or post-wedding brunch (if applicable).
  • Offer transportation to out-of-town guests to the airport.
  • Deliver thank-you notes or gifts that the bride and groom request you to deliver.

THE BRIDESMAIDS

PRE-WEDDING DAY

  • Offer to run errands for the bride.
  • Assist in selecting bridesmaids’ dresses (Remember it is the bride’s choice of what you are to wear).
  • Pay for your wedding attire. It is your choice to be in a wedding and it is an honor, not a chore!

WEDDING DAY

  • Attend all photo sessions.
  • Be on time for everything!
  • Greet guests in the receiving line and mingle with them at the reception.
  • Offer a toast to the bride and groom.
  • Help direct guests or answer questions (if needed).
  • Dance with your groomsman at the bridal party dance.
  • Encourage guests to participate in wedding activities.
  • Help with any changes that may occur at the reception.
  • Help transport gifts.
  • Help clean the reception hall.

POST-WEDDING DAY

  • Attend gift opening and/or post-wedding brunch (if applicable).
  • Offer to transport guests to the airport.

Note: Some brides use a personal attendant who has excellent organizational skills. This person ensures that the activities run smoothly the day or evening of the wedding.

The Groom’s Attendants

Your friend, brother or male relative has decided to take the plunge and get married. How could he leave the male bonding that took years to create and perfect through Monday night football parties, poker, cigars, road trips and conversations at the bachelor pad? It is very important for you to not think this way. The groom has chosen to get married and he needs to have the strong support of the men who helped him evolve into the person his fiancée wants to marry.

THE BEST MAN

PRE-WEDDING DAY

  • Help the groom with anything he needs.
  • Oversee and organize the groomsmen and ushers.
  • Help address the invitations.
  • Attend pre-wedding parties.
  • Plan the bachelor party.
  • Help prepare the groom’s plans for the honeymoon.
  • Organize the sizes and ordering of the tuxedos.
  • Go with the groomsmen and ushers to pick up their tuxedos.
  • Attend rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
  • Offer to pick up guests at the airport.
  • Run last minute errands for the wedding couple.

WEDDING DAY

  • Keep the groom on schedule for photographs.
  • Hold the bride’s wedding ring.
  • Mingle with the guests before the wedding and during the reception.
  • Help with any last minute problems that may occur.
  • Give a toast and speech at the reception.
  • Dance with the maid of honor.
  • Deliver checks to officiant and make any last-minute payments to vendors.
  • Make sure the getaway car is ready.
  • See that travel documents are in order.
  • Help clean up the reception hall.
  • Take care of the wedding gifts.

POST-WEDDING Day

  • Attend post wedding brunch and gift opening.
  • Gather all of the tuxedos and accessories and return them to the rental shop.
  • Offer to take people to the airport.

THE GROOMSMEN AND USHERS

PRE-WEDDING DAY

  • Attend pre-wedding parties.
  • Help plan the bachelor party if asked.
  • Help address invitations.
  • Run errands for the groom.
  • Get measured for your tuxedo.
  • Pick up and pay for your tuxedo before the wedding.
  • Offer to pick up guests at the airport.

WEDDING DAY

  • Be on time for photographs.
  • Help transport anything from the church to the reception.
  • Seat people at the church.
  • Answer questions for guests and give directions to the reception.

Note: Typed directions to give to out-of-town guests are helpful.

  • Give a toast at the reception.
  • Greet the guests in the receiving line and mingle with guests at the reception.
  • Dance with bridesmaids at the dance.
  • Help transport the wedding gifts.
  • Help clean up the reception hall.
  • Decorate the honeymoon car.

POST-WEDDING Day

  • Attend post wedding brunch and gift opening (if applicable).
  • Offer to transport people to the airport.
  • Offer to return any rental items.